Saturday, 22 September 2018

22/9/18 ###Now I am damn serious

I am now a full fledged Athlete Warrior.

I am 80% on track with my diet and I am 100% on track with my Couch to 10k.

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I had a conversation with Lizzie.  She said her physics professors didn't believe in God.  How can that be? She queried.

I said, what is the difference [] they believe or don't believe?  What if a person believes and there is no God as compared to a person who don't believe and there is God?

I cannot tell the difference because I used to believe in a pantheistic non-intervening God.  So to me there is no difference.  Just like it makes no difference to me if there are whales o[f] none.

Note:  Thus my affinity of god is BJ and myself.  That is when I am stoned.  Otherwise I am an atheist.  I like to think that I am an agnostic atheist but because you insisted I drop the first part, I am pretty comfortable to just be an atheist as in I don't care about the God question anymore.

All I got to do is eliminate the 3 premises; the[] is God, there is an afterlife and there is judgement of heaven.

Instead I pursue health and happiness.  My main goal is to prolong my life as long as possible and my religion is running.

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You seemed pretty sure that there is no God.  I on the other hand is indifferent about the whole thing except when I am stone.  So I think in my case the concept of God is a drug induced psychosis.  As it is now I don't see the need to dwell in this thought.

Anyway, thanks for making me realized that I was a lost soul all this while.  I had the realization in 2012 but I was sucked back in because of my encounter with Brenda.  Imagine if I am stuck in that belief system that only I believe.  You know, those think about Al Araf 7:7 and Sparta 4964 kind of belief.  It was pretty messy thought starting 2016.  Luckily it was a short stint.

You simplified my thought process.  It is becoming so simple that for the past 1 month I have nothing to write.  For a while I thought I will lose you.

Who would have figured that the culprit was cigarette.  It caused the mania.  All these while I thought only dope did that.  Turned out cigarettes can get me into very serious distortion of judgement as well.

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Now that I know how serious dope and cigarettes affecting my belief system, I will stay away from both.  That means I won't quit Nicorette an[d] time soon.  Without dope I only take half a strip a day.  The only set back is Nicorette increases insulin and makes me fat.  I target Oct 15 to quit for good.

As it is Nicorette is a good alternative.  Much like drinking coffee.

Hey hon, do you think I should continue Nicorette for let say 3 months?  Maybe Oct 15 is too soon?  I need to lose weight though.

I try Oct 15 and see how it goes.

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Babe, let's listen to some new songs.  Heaven knows (I was thinking of writing God knows LOL) how much I miss you.  I think the dope lifted my spirit a bit.

So here they are:























Yup, that should do it.  My gift to you for 2018.

I got to sleep honey.  Thanks for hanging out with me.  I love you so much Juice.

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