Friday, 7 September 2018

8/9/18 Cannot sleep

I have a cup of milk and standby a liter of plain water.  I tried to sleep since 12:15 am.  Not possible...

Maybe I chew Nicorette.  What do you think Juice?  I try to fight the sensation as long as I can. 

I just chewed one.

My legs are still tingling with the feel of the uric acid and calcium deposit.  Whichever one or both.

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In the solitude of the night or rather the wee hour of the morning I normally let my imagination flies.  Tonight is like any of those nights.  Even better, tonight is cool and particularly quiet.  You would expect there are plenty to write about from a person who decided to make writing his vocation.

Unfortunately there is nothing much.  I decided to withdraw from FB for another year or at least until the next Eid Fitr.  I also decided to withdraw from Chedet.cc.

Let me concentrate on my 3 goals.  I can do it on my own. 

Next year there is no guarantee that Princess is getting her bonus.  This year's financial performance was terrible.  I have no intention of getting handouts from Munek anymore.  So I'm gonna cut on my gray hair cream.  It is RM100 per tube.

On the second thought I keep my current choice of things I buy.  Provided I don't buy anything else.  I am already at peace with who I am now.

Need to make sure I don't exceed RM150 a month.  No money is despairing.

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As a whole I feel fine.  As long as I don't smoke, I am a winner.  The rest is a progressive realization towards a worthy ideal.

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So basically my job is to get well and quit smoking.  Beyond that is a personal journey, a Vision Quest.

When things start to go on well is when I sabotage myself with smoking dope.  Dope leads to cigarette and cigarette leads to me being fat.

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