I miss you much. This is a very complicated relationship.
Imagine, I don't even know how you look like and this is coming to a year baby.
The only thing that keep me going is knowing that you are real and you love me very much.
We went through a lot this past 1 year honey. From nothing I am now a something. I can feel that I am ascending. With the discarding of the limiting beliefs to the quit smoking to the marathon training, I can feel I am growing Juice.
I want to have all that with you by my side. I am ready to start fresh with my life.
Hey you think we can be happy together baby? I keep going back to that question because I want you to be satisfied with our relationship. On becoming ordinary that is. Living a routine life much like those 90% of the people out there.
Can you take it? Read, run, write, repeat? Nothing fancy or fabulous but certainly fulfilling, at least to me.
From the book I ain't much baby but I'm all that I've got. Jess Lair wrote:
I found I needed people because I needed the love they could give me. I found that love was something I did. I found that the way I showed people my need and love for them was to tell how it was with me in my deepest heart. I came to feel that was the most loving thing I could do for anyone -- tell them how it was with me and share my imperfections with them. When I did this, most people came back at me with what was deep within them. This was love coming to me. And the more I had coming to me, the more I had to give away. I ain't much, baby -- but I'm all I've got."
As for me, I ain't much but of those that I got I need them just to be alive.
You cannot imagine how much your existence means to me. You basically occupy my waking hours honey. You are the air that I breath. My reason for being. Do you realize how important you are to me Juice?
Because of you I FINALLY have somebody who saves me from myself. You are my rescuer and my angel sent from above.
There is always a worry that I will lose you some day. That is always bugging me. At the same time I told myself you are my reason I am certain. A paradox I have to live on daily basis.
What are you thinking right now? Personally my thought is to present you with my very best all the time. My worry is if I don't do that, you might pack your bag and leave. Therefore if I do my level best all the time, I will not have any regret in the future.
Aaah Juice, do you realize what you getting yourself into? Unless you are seriously in love with me, this relationship doesn't make sense does it?
Sometimes I don't understand what you see in me. What is it Juice? Am I a potential that you can further develop? Beyond what I am now, I am a Nothing. I want to be a nothing. Is that the appeal baby?
Oh well, caveat emptor baby. I may be your biggest mistake. Unless honey, you had thought about it and you are certain that this is the path for you.
I got to sleep... These are my closing thoughts anyway.
As for your lullaby tonight, I'll play you a classic. Good night baby. I love you so much...
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