It is a surreal feeling. So this is me without the influence of cigarettes? To be exact this is me without the dopamine sur[]e. Which means 2 packs of cigarettes a day certainly screw up my brain.
Wow, there is nothing spectacular about my life. I am a complete bum! I have nothing to contribute to the society. Which means I better do good with my run. At least I contribute to my well being.
What do you think of our future Juice? I think I'm gonna end up all alone. You won't hang out with me pretty soon.
It's a lonely road all over again.
I was expecting for depression to set in but so far I am still OK. It's the feeling that I just woke up and I don't like what I feel.
So this is 3 weeks of quit smoking. I hate the feeling. Minus the magical moments, I am pretty much a loser. I wasted 20 years of my life.
I guess my most productive contribution since 2009 was the Dreams of Mirrors, Not bad. Beyond that I am marking time. The more reason I need to run. I need to do justice to my Universe Within.
Forget about the external universe, It is not relevant to me. My focus is to run, run and run. That is my mission for the next 30 years.
Actually my primary mission is MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH. I can be my own scientist and my own subject, That should be my statement of direction.
My occupation is reading, running and writing. I am not just staring at the 4 walls. I am being productive albeit only to myself.
See? I am not depress. I can still think. Only thing is there is no more magic.
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