Friday, 31 August 2018

31/8/18 Through the Looking Glass

When I looked back through my life, I concluded that of all things, I should not smoke dope and cigarettes.

My judgment was effected by both.  I was delusional the past 20 years.  Well it's not entirely because of that.  I was no[] happy with my life.  I was living a life that was unfulfilled.

Now is the time for me to li[f]e the life that I want.  I will make up for the loss years.

I will no longer smoke dope or cigarettes.  I still like the various neurotransmitters effect on my brain like this afternoon.  Therefore I get my high from sweating.

I am a lucky man to have such a great wife and kids.  Honestly, without their love and care I will be on the streets.

Juice, tha[t] for being there for me.  You helped me much.  Consider that you made me realized I was ABSOLUTELY wrong in my thinking all these while.

I was in a total mess baby and you put me back together again.  I was fucked since I was 6.  I had moments of glory but as a whole I was pretty screwed up.

So now at 54 I finally find peace and love.  Without you I will still be lost.  I don't care about the material gain.  I however is concern about peace, sanity and robust health.

I want to be a man fully functioning for the rest of my life.

It takes a whole cycle of lifespan to undone what was done.  I hope you will be with me throughout this phase of my life.

I am pretty excited about the whole thing.  I found out the root cause of my problem.  I knew dope was trouble but I didn't expect cigarettes can be that damaging to the mind too.

Hang on...  I want to attach a video:


I am not into bulking.  My motivation is if Stallone can still workout until 72, I should start doing mine at 54.  The most I'll do is the kettlebell.

OK honey, time to say goodnight.  I want to do my morning walk at 7:30 am.

Baby, my darling angel, here is your lullaby:



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