Tuesday, 28 August 2018

29/8/18 Shaked off nicotine craving today

Finally, I woke up feeling great and don't have the urge to smoke or chew gum.  Frankly speaking, the feeling of chewing the gum is pretty lousy.  So if I cannot smoke I might as well not have any form of nicotine whatsoever.

The first thing that came to mind is I surely have a good heart.  That I can pledge and take to the bank.  The question I have to consider is whether that is good or bad? 

Based on my most recent encounters, IT IS BAD.  Being good is bad and being bad is good,  I need to be accepted and liked.  If I am an asshole, I can manage without being nice to anybody.

So from now on I just be nice to the few that love me and that I love.  I just remain impartial to everybody else.  Just like Ameezan.  He is only nice to his immediate family.  As a person he is a jerk but, he is more successful than me.  I don't want to be an asshole like him.  I just think I should no[] be nice to everybody.

The most important thing is on matters pertaining to spending money.  I have to conclude, the little money I have is for me to spend on myself.

Like for example I am in need for a tennis shorts pretty badly.  I also need a watch strap.  So that's all I'm going to spend my money on.  I was thinking of buying Princess her badminton racket hand wrap.  Forget it.  Also I will not be buying anything for Mopey on her birthday.

Instead I'll be nice by being pleasant.  I did that with Mopey.  She turned out to be more mothering than Lizzie.  I need to restrategize my approach with Mopey.  I don't talk much to her.  Like I said, I am a listener, not a talker.

So that's my take for today.  All these while I was being too nice.

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